tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25838043017330493872024-02-18T21:36:24.165-08:00Writings, musings, poetryThis is all original work, unedited by a third party. Constructive feedback gratefully received.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-59168676966360704002018-06-27T13:04:00.004-07:002018-06-27T13:04:57.085-07:00The Best of Luck<i>A new story! I always promised myself that once the baby either hit six months or started sleeping better - whichever came later - I'd start writing again. Well, she's about six-and-a-half months now and has been sleeping 7.30pm-6am - so here we are!</i><br />
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Once, when the baby was about six months old, we took the
bus into town. I forget where we were going – some group or other, there were
so many, I could hardly keep track – but it was viciously hot and there was
barely room for us, what with the stroller and the diaper bag. I remember I pushed
back her sun shade so that she could look around. She liked to look around. So she
looked around, and I squeezed into the jump seat beside her, sweat clinging greasily
to my forehead, my neck, my shoulders. </div>
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We were maybe two stops from where we needed to get off when
it happened. There was a long line of people waiting to get on – lord knows how
they all fit, it was so crowded – and at first, everything seemed normal. Everyone
was hot and fractious, sighing and wiping their faces with the backs of their
hands as they crammed into every available space. It wasn’t until the bus set
off that I realised something was amiss. The chatter and the overheated
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I didn’t know what was going on at first – just that
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me, blissfully unaware. Then I heard it. Somewhere near the back of the bus, someone
was shouting. It wasn’t the shouting, in and of itself, that was worrying. I’d
heard plenty of rows on public transport before. You fucking slut this. You
ungrateful bastard that. No, it was the nature of it this time – the words, and
who was speaking them. It wasn’t a row, or even a conversation. It was just one
man, sitting next to a terrified-looking old woman, and he was yelling at everyone
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“It’s all fucking garbage!” he hollered. “Not fit to wipe
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I didn’t want to be afraid of him. I wanted to be
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to think about – this tiny, helpless, precious, oblivious thing. I could see
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fixed intently on her little boy, who went on playing with his toy truck without
even looking up. </div>
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“What a fucking joke!” the man went on. “A fucking joke! Off
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<br /></div>
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The minutes ticked painfully by and still, no one breathed. We
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“They’ll get what’s coming! A fucking joke!” the man
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<br /></div>
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He shouted, and the children played. The baby kicked at her
plastic keys, and the little boy made engine noises as he drove his truck up
and down his leg. I envied them that – that pure, innocent fearlessness – and then
the bus stopped. A chunk of the crowd clustered at the back of the bus broke
away, preparing to get off, and I realised the man was among them. Finally, I let
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around in my mind but there it was. Shameful as it was, I’d been imagining this
monster – wild-eyed, unkempt, inhuman – but that wasn’t him. He was clean-shaven,
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I kept my eye on him as he moved towards the front of the
bus. He was staring all around, unseeing, while his fellow passengers kept their
gaze studiously out of the windows. As he approached the stroller space, he leaned
down towards the baby – not especially close, but too close for my comfort –
and however illogical it might have been, I felt myself readying to fling
myself over her, preparing to cover her body with my body if I had to. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The best of luck,” he said. And then he was gone. </div>
<i><br /></i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-54951449211322110542017-09-28T03:44:00.000-07:002017-09-28T09:20:57.260-07:00A new Unbound project<br />
<br />
It's cards on the table time: I need you. I've become involved in another Unbound project, and to get it out into the world, I need your help, whether that's through pledging or simply sharing the project with people. <br />
<br />
Why, you may quite reasonably ask, am I subjecting myself to this again? <br />
<br />
<br />
Firstly, it's a whole different kettle of fish this time: instead of working solo, I've contributed a short story to an anthology, which means it's not solely up to me to raise the funds needed. There are eight of us all working towards the same goal. <br />
<br />
Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, it's in an extremely good cause: royalties after publication will go to the World Literacy Foundation (<a href="http://www.worldliteracyfoundation.org/">www.worldliteracyfoundation.org</a>) to help support projects aimed at ending illiteracy around the world. All of the writers have contributed their work for free. <br />
<br />
Thirdly, it is an excellent, not to mention diverse collection of stories, with writers including fantasy novelist (and editor of the collection) Shona Kinsella and some time QI elf Stevyn Colgan. Plus, you know, me.<br />
<br />
The stories are all set in and around the same library in the fictional Scottish town of Finlay. Some are funny, some are sad, some are fantastical. All of them are great. <br />
<br />
To find out more and pledge, go to <a href="http://unbound.com/books/borrowed">http://unbound.com/books/borrowed </a><br />
<br />
As always, any support you can give will be hugely appreciated. Visit the link, read about the project, pledge, share. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-51739030491582426872017-09-05T07:31:00.001-07:002017-09-05T07:31:21.215-07:00The Baseball Game<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
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It was a scratch game. There was a field behind the high
school and they’d get together and play a little ball after class sometimes.
Nothing special mostly. But it was different that day. It was raining and a
bunch of the guys said let’s come back tomorrow. It’s gonna be nice tomorrow.
But the others said no, we said were gonna play, let’s play. There were seven
of them and they needed one more guy to make the teams even. </div>
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Kelvin was waiting for Lacey. She was supposed to show up a
half hour before with a burned copy of Kannon. He didn’t hang out with guys
like them. They were other. Separate. There was an understanding that they
should ignore each other and that would be best for everybody. Kelvin was ok
with that. He was quiet and tall and weird and he wore shirts with bands nobody
had ever heard of on them. Those guys, Chuck, Scotty, Johnno, their buddies,
they all played baseball together and went to parties and didn’t have to think
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Kelvin eyed them. There was no sign of Lacey. They’d made
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nervous. They were deep in conference, and they kept looking back at him a few
seconds at a time. Probably deciding whether to ditch the baseball game and
stuff him in a dumpster. They did that kind of thing. Not to Kelvin usually –
they let him slide because he didn’t suck at sports and maybe one or two of
them were afraid of him because of his dad and all – but to guys he knew, guys
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Hey, you, somebody yelled. Kelvin squinted through the rain.
It was Scotty. They’d been friendly in grade school, before his dad, before the
sentencing, but then Scotty’s mom, like so many others, told him to stop
talking to Kelvin. You don’t want to get mixed up with people like that, she
said. He heard her. She was in the playground after school and he was standing
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Me? Yeah, you, Scotty yelled back. We need a pitcher. Wanna?
Kelvin shrugged and ambled towards them. Why not? Scotty grinned and threw him
the ball. He looked down at it and tossed it from hand to hand. He thought
about what his life might have been like if he and Scotty Dunsmere had stayed
friends, about what it could be like now if he got this right, about what it might
be like to be one of them. He thought about his dad. Then he wound up for the
pitch. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-71140779254424160582017-03-08T08:31:00.001-08:002017-03-08T08:41:13.045-08:00Thoughts on feminism, femininity and being female in the 21st century<i>On International Women's Day, here's another very personal essay, this time on what it is to be a woman and how to be a feminist in the modern world. Be warned, it's a long 'un. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s International Women’s Day today. To me, that includes
all women, of whatever skin colour or belief system, whether they were born
with vaginas or not. It also includes people whose gender doesn’t neatly fit at
one end of the spectrum or the other, yet still possess vaginas and want to
continue possessing them. It also includes men, with or without penises at
birth. Importantly, men <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have </i>to be included
in dialogue in order to promote understanding and support on both sides. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Let’s be honest: your nads are your business. You can be
feminist if you have a vagina, if you have a penis, if you have neither or
both, if you get your tits out in an international fashion magazine, if you keep
yourself covered fully in public. We’re 17 years into the 21st century, for
crying out loud. It’s who you are and how you treat people that should count. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll be upfront. I have a
specific issue I’d like to talk about, and about which I’ve spent a long time
thinking and wondering whether to shove my oar in. So here goes nothing:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Too much has been written recently about how trans women (the
area seems to be a bit greyer where genderqueer or agender people are
concerned) shouldn’t be included in today’s festivities, shouldn’t be included
in feminism, and shouldn’t even be considered women. The thinking, according to
at least some of the writing I’ve read, seems to be that these are men who,
almost on a whim, decided they quite fancied being women – as if they’re just
playing dress up, playacting at being female. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
A lot of the rhetoric seems to exclude the personal torment,
the mental health issues, and the stigma they will have faced in coming out and
beginning the process of transitioning. It also ignores the fact that
transitioning is never done lightly – it can’t be, because there are too many
barriers, legal, medical and otherwise.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For many trans people, it might have taken a lifetime to
get there. They might be treated like freaks, shunned by their families and
their communities. For some, too, at the very best, it might mean facing
ostracism and scorn, and the very worst, violence and death, just as so-called “real”
women have in other circumstances. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The people who engage in the kind of thinking that treats
trans women as “fake” women would do well to remember that trans women most
assuredly have their own struggles, equally real and even equally painful. What’s
more, if you’ve lived most of your life as a man, of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">course</i> it’s going to take time to learn the realities of being a
woman. Of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">course </i>you’ll see things
through a male gaze. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to learn, or that they
should be forbidden from trying. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These people would also do well to remember that, just as
there are people who are physically male and want to become female, there are
those for whom the reverse is true, who will have endured many, if not all, of
the same struggles, and who also deserve a place at the table. Would you devote
as many column inches to saying trans men aren’t “real” men? I doubt it. Why do
it to trans women?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While I don’t agree with it, I admit I can see where this
exclusionary mentality comes from. At least to an extent, men who transition
must have enjoyed the privileges that go along with being male. They haven’t
had to suffer the same knock backs and discrimination and dangers as those
assigned female at birth and who’ve grown up in a world that tells them they’re
inferior because of their sex. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
They are, however, prepared to drop all their male privilege
in exchange for ridicule and condemnation, so that they can stop hiding. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The problem, really, is that this mentality speaks of a
mindset that is in fact extremely outdated: women are this, men are that, and
ne’er the twain shall meet. Whether intentionally or not, it actually seems to
support the very rigid definitions of gender that created the dangerous divisions
between the treatment of men and women in the first place. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The fact is, the idea of being transgender simply hasn’t
been part of the mainstream consciousness for long enough to have generated the
same levels of oppression. The issues around it are still being unpacked. But that
doesn’t mean trans women shouldn’t be included in the discussion of feminism
and on how to go forward. Why can’t we add their struggle to the existing one,
and work together? Why can’t we all be on the same page? All people should be
treated equally. Can’t we agree on that at least?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s my thought process: it’s not about eroding the position
of either women or men, or the hard-won rights that feminists have fought for
over the centuries. In fact, at a fundamental level, I’d argue there <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">must</i> be a definition of what a woman or
man is, physically, mentally and emotionally, for someone to identify as one or
the other. You can’t have trans women without women, or trans men without men. But
being born with the “wrong” genitalia doesn’t exclude you from aligning
yourself with one gender or the other. It doesn’t mean you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have </i>to be one thing or the other. Male is not the opposite of female.
You can sit at either end of the spectrum, whether you were born there or not,
and anywhere in between. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, it’s perfectly possible to be masculine without
being male, and feminine without being female, and that, I’d argue, is another
great example of the strides humanity has made. You have that choice now. I’m a
(cis) woman, married to a (cis) man, but that doesn’t mean I have to wear
frilly frocks and stay at home and make his dinner every night. I could choose
to, and I wouldn’t begrudge anyone else making that choice. But at the same
time, we’re equal partners and neither of us is lessened by not fitting into a “traditional”
role.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I admit, I do wonder about the validity of labelling
children as transgender at very young ages, as I think there has to be a certain
amount of maturity, a certain amount of understanding present before one’s
identity is fully formed. Kids do go through phases – I myself wore my hair
short and liked being mistaken for a boy between the ages of about nine and
eleven – and sometimes, they stick, but sometimes they don’t. In my opinion, it’s
better to let kids figure things out for themselves and make up their own minds
about their identities. It’s better to let them know it’s ok for them to go against
the “norm”, and help them understand gender identity, but don’t prejudge them
or force them into a pigeonhole. Then, if they themselves feel their gender
doesn’t match their sex, support them and stick by them if they decide to
transition. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Let me interject here that being transracial is not a thing.
The constructs around race and ethnicity are wholly different to those around
gender and sex. Let’s leave that alone for now, but <a href="http://thoughtcatalog.com/kovie-biakolo/2015/06/being-transracial-is-not-a-thing-so-lets-not-even-go-there/">read this</a>, by someone much cleverer than me, if you still can’t
grasp it.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also concede that it’s totally daft to stop putting on
productions of The Vagina Monologues, or stop talking about issues that pertain
solely to women who were born with female genitalia, such as reproductive
rights, because it supposedly excludes trans women. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The point here is that there will be issues that affect
trans women only, issues that affect cis women only, issues that affect black
women, Indian women, Muslim women, Christian women, small groups of women,
large groups, medium groups, all of the above, some of the above, and varying
combinations. We don’t have to exclude one for the benefit of another, and nor
should we: it risks derailing feminist discourse altogether. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead, we need to be as aware of all these issues as we
can, and to take stock of the intersections and the differences that make us so
amazing and diverse and cool. We <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all</i>
need to be part of the discussion, and we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all
</i>need to be thinking about ways to make things better. We need to stop
saying, “you’re excluded because you don’t have this” or “you’re only included
if you do have that”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Feminism is not the exclusive domain of a single group. Everyone
can be a feminist, and everyone should be. As I’ve said before, we need to <a href="http://phaedracalliope.blogspot.co.uk/2017/01/take-my-privilege-personal-essay.html">use whatever privilege</a> we have to help those who don’t have it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Full disclosure: I admit, I don’t understand what it is to
be transgender and never fully could, for the simple reason that I’m not transgender.
My personal privilege is largely attached to my skin colour, but also to the
fact I’m (more or less) cisgender. I don’t have that experience and never will. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I also accept that it’s not for me to decide how someone
else presents themselves. It’s not for me to tell them they can’t be who they
are because it doesn’t sit neatly within an outdated definition of manhood or
womanhood. If you’re not hurting anybody, you do you. What’s going on under
your clothes is really none of my business. Now let me welcome you to the table,
and let’s start talking. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-88492397632782132852017-02-21T02:54:00.004-08:002017-02-21T02:54:44.213-08:00Sassy<i>Here is some microfiction, explaining my feelings about the word "sassy".</i><br />
<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-90472596167478492442017-02-09T01:43:00.001-08:002017-02-09T02:15:26.097-08:00Why speculative fiction? A guest post by Shona Kinsella<b>The lovely and talented Shona Kinsella, author of <i>Ashael Rising</i>, has written this fabulous piece on the world (or worlds) of speculative fiction. You can read my interview with her <a href="https://scriggler.com/DetailPost/Opinion/53893">here</a>. Her buy links and social media details are below. Enjoy! </b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh64qTt4yMc-zTewd7lofl8MlVIruId4qa4rewd4YpfoPvWqj_tunLuMAAwgTXCl-0DPe_ST0iGMLe1DnzTBQ3vPLsJpmce-B2Z0MkiwzarwfcNqYhZqhBC-r9UI0bY8edfirhzPivee4Q/s1600/shona.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh64qTt4yMc-zTewd7lofl8MlVIruId4qa4rewd4YpfoPvWqj_tunLuMAAwgTXCl-0DPe_ST0iGMLe1DnzTBQ3vPLsJpmce-B2Z0MkiwzarwfcNqYhZqhBC-r9UI0bY8edfirhzPivee4Q/s320/shona.JPG" width="181" /></a></div>
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While I do occasionally step outside of speculative fiction, it’s fair to say that the vast majority of my work falls there, from my debut novel to my flash fiction. So, what’s the draw of the genre? Or, more accurately, collection of genres: fantasy, sci-fi, horror, utopia, dystopia, alternate history, apocalyptic, post-apocalyptic and superhero (according to Wikipedia). <br />
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I often joke and say that I like to write fantasy because I don’t have to do any research – I can just make it up as I go along. That actually isn’t true, though. I do quite a lot of research because I think the accuracy of the mundane details makes the magical more acceptable – it helps the reader to suspend disbelief.<br />
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The real reason I love speculative fiction so much is the sheer breadth of possibility. If you set up the world right, you can make anything at all happen; it just has to make sense in the context of the world you have built. For example, in <i>Stormlight Archive</i>, by Brandon Sanderson, it’s established early on that on the storm-ridden world of Roshar, the energy of the storm can be caught in gems called spheres, which are then used for light. It’s then plausible that the energy could be captured and utilised in other ways, too – and so we have characters who can use the "stormlight" to perform inhuman feats. <br />
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Of course, the flip side of this is that your world must be built well and be internally consistent. In KalaDene (the planet on which <i>Ashael Rising</i> is set), the Folk are a tribal people, hunter-gatherers who live in harmony with their planet. This harmony allows them to manipulate the life energy that suffuses everything. However, since the source of their magic is life force, I can’t have them running around casting spells everywhere with no limit – they can only use the energy that is available and if they take too much from one place, they are taking life itself. To have their power be unlimited would not be internally consistent.<br />
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Another thing I love about speculative fiction is the ability to take issues of importance in the real world and look at them in a different context. Issues such as racism, religious persecution, environmentalism and gender equality have all featured in speculative fiction in forms that allow them to be examined in a way that may not trigger the same level of emotion that a more "realistic" novel is likely to engender.<br />
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This can be a really useful tool and can be very eye-opening for the writer. For example, in <i>Ashael Rising</i>, the cams are gender-equal, with men and women both taking leadership roles and nurturing roles. No one is assigned tasks or limited in their choices because of their gender. Writing that sort of culture made me realise how gendered our use of language can be. In an early draft, I had a character dismissing something as "female intuition" without thinking about how these people would not frame intuition that way. <br />
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For me, the only downside to writing speculative fiction is that when you create another world, you have to keep track of so much information. I have files on the flora, fauna and climate of KalaDene, on the races and their cultures, on the history that brought them all to where they are now. If I had written a book set in Glasgow, a lot of the information I needed would already be known to me or would be just a Google search away. Instead I had to make everything up and then keep track of the implications of that. I’m sure my world-building files will only get bigger as I continue with the series. <br />
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<b>Find out more about Shona, and buy <i>Ashael Rising (The Vessel of KalaDene: Book One)</i>:</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6GMlvEgNUpuPLLGGd2I_kD7EbGNlivU3iz2HopNVOmjFaBOWGwB-hJ3ZpuyoaZMuy9IFdiYKkfaykLyIz9ct8C6WkONnczJqFTjgImSHcjORRittxbdUwgeBWcUyd5YPwLHnq9IAWSyU/s1600/Ashael+Rising+Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6GMlvEgNUpuPLLGGd2I_kD7EbGNlivU3iz2HopNVOmjFaBOWGwB-hJ3ZpuyoaZMuy9IFdiYKkfaykLyIz9ct8C6WkONnczJqFTjgImSHcjORRittxbdUwgeBWcUyd5YPwLHnq9IAWSyU/s320/Ashael+Rising+Cover.jpg" width="199" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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Blog: <a href="http://www.shonakinsella.com/">www.shonakinsella.com</a><br />
Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/shona_kinsella">@shona_kinsella</a><br />
Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/shona.kinsella/">shona.kinsella</a><br />
Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ashaelrising/">https://www.facebook.com/ashaelrising/</a><br />
<i>Ashael Rising</i> is available for purchase at: <a href="http://bit.ly/ashaelrising">http://bit.ly/ashaelrising</a><br />
<br />
You can also buy the book at Unbound: <a href="https://unbound.com/books/ashael-rising">https://unbound.com/books/ashael-rising</a> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-91276271742027527292017-01-10T08:51:00.004-08:002017-01-10T08:51:53.511-08:00Take my privilege: a personal essayI’m white (obviously) so right out of the gate, I’m privileged. Believe me, I’m fully aware of that. I’m also educated to degree level. More privilege. On top of that, I’m middle class. Yet more privilege. I’m also (more or less) heterosexual. Still more privilege. I’m able-bodied. Even more privilege. I might lose a couple of points in the area of gender: I’m female, although my gender presentation falls a little more towards the centre of the spectrum. I might lose a couple more in the area of mental health: I suffer from depression and anxiety. But that’s it. Otherwise, I’m right up there. I’ve been afforded pretty much all the blessings modern Western civilisation has to offer. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not super rich or anything, but I’ll probably never have to worry about my economic status. I’m almost as privileged as I can be. I know that. <br /><br />Meanwhile, my husband, also educated and middle class, has been afforded a measure of the same privilege, even though he’s not actually white, because he’s half white. Therefore, by some people’s reckoning, he’s only half as threatening as if both his parents had been from India. He also claws back a little more privilege by being male. But he’ll never have the same level of privilege as I do because he’s not fully white, and that immediately places him lower down the ladder. It places him in another category, that strange limbo of otherness that allows him to go about his life under the radar, as long as he continues to fit into the space society has allotted him. I don’t say that because I think it’s right, or that’s the way it should be. I say that because it’s true. What I want to do is use my own privilege for something meaningful. What’s the point of having it if I can’t try, in some way, to share its power with those who don’t have it? <br /><br />I was brought up in a predominantly white area, with few families of colour, or even families who weren’t from the North East of England, so that has shaped my experience and my understanding. My sphere of existence, for a little shy of the first two-thirds of my life, was very small. Since then, of course, I’ve travelled and met plenty of people with different experiences and different backgrounds. But I’ve never really had the hard conversations, the ones about race, about what it feels like to have people hate you just because of the colour of your skin. That, I think, is at least part of the problem. People like me rarely want to step too far outside our safe, comfortable, protected bubbles. But I want to have those conversations. I want to hear those words and try to comprehend them. I know I’ll never properly get it. I can’t. But I want to do my best. Make me uncomfortable. Shake me. Wake me up. <br /><br />I’m not asking anyone to think for me, to do the work for me. I’m not trying to make it all about me, because that, I know, is what people like me do, all too often. I’m asking what I can do to redress the balance, on an individual level. Anyone who knows me, knows I believe in equality. I believe skin colour, religion, upbringing, sexuality, economic status and any other aspect of one’s being over which one has no control should make no difference. Belief is all well and good, though. “Should” is all well and good. Wanting a world in which no one is treated as superior or inferior just by dint of their skin colour is not the same as doing something to bring it about. Deploring police brutality and the killing of people in the street is not the same as doing something to make that stop. I know that. <br /><br />Now more than ever, with extreme right wing views becoming increasingly mainstream, those of us who want that better world and who have the kind of privilege I’ve described need to get off our arses and do our utmost to fight back. We need to use our bodies and our voices to bolster those who’ll suffer most as a result of this flood of nasty, insidious politics and to stem that tide. I want to start doing that. I want to stop being fuzzy and wishy washy. <br /><br />So I’m asking to be taught. I want to hear and learn and then use that learning. Let me put it to the best possible use. I want to stop wasting this. Imagine if you had the world’s most beautiful voice but you never sang. This is like that. I’m in a position to do something and I want to do it. I just don’t know where to start. To be clear, I’m not seeking plaudits or a pat on the back. I’m trying to be as genuine as I can be, given this is the internet. I’m trying prise open those narrow spaces. I’m trying to take those first steps towards on the road to bringing that world of equality into being. I want to do what I can, and what I must. I’m opening my door. Take my privilege. <br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-6187069958363401362016-12-12T05:43:00.001-08:002016-12-12T05:43:04.651-08:00Mr Wilmot<i>This is my </i><a href="https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&vertical=default&q=%23whimword&src=typd">#whimword</a><i> entry for this week. As always, I'll be reposting it on Scriggler and Medium, so keep an eye out there, too! Also, as always, don't forget to check out my Unbound page, where you can find out about and pledge on Abernathy, my debut novel: </i><a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy</a><br />
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Carol scrunched up her face against the freezing rain, and it occurred to her then, as always, that doing so made absolutely no difference. If anything, it probably just hurried along the onset of lines on her forehead, which bothered her more than she cared to admit. It had been a bad day.<br />
<br />
She’d overslept, skipped breakfast, missed her train, and then Darren had called. Fucking Darren. She’d been planning to dump him for weeks, but she’d never managed it. Darren was boring. Darren was stupid. Darren was crap in bed. Darren was also hard to shift. He was always just sort of there, with his big, pathetic brown eyes and some ridiculous tale of woe. Then she’d feel guilty and chicken out.<br />
<br />
“Sorry,” he said. “I’ve met someone else.” Carol was stunned.<br />
<br />
“You what?” she whispered.<br />
<br />
“Her name’s Donna. We’re moving in.”<br />
<br />
“Well, you can just piss off, then, can’t you,” she said, hating herself for how hurt she sounded. Donna was a slapper’s name anyway, she thought, but checked herself for thinking something so unfeminist, and then felt cheated out of her rage.<br />
<br />
After that, the day was a catalogue of failures. She’d forgotten her umbrella, and arrived at work, drenched and freezing, to find her appraisal had been moved to 10 o’clock, giving her twenty-seven minutes to dry out and calm down.<br />
<br />
“This isn’t good enough,” Mr Wilmot shouted. Her pompous, priggish boss narrowed his eyes over his glasses. “You’re sloppy. You miss deadlines. And today, when you should be looking to impress more than ever, you’re half an hour late and you look like you’ve spent the night a ditch. This is your final warning. Either you shape up or you’re out.” Carol swallowed, blinking back tears.<br />
<br />
“Yes, sir,” she muttered, and dashed out, praying to make the ladies’ before she started crying. It took her fifteen minutes to collect herself, and when she emerged from the bathroom, she saw Wilmot ambling past, carrying his briefcase and an umbrella that probably cost more than her car.<br />
<br />
“Early lunch, is it?” she muttered to Sheila, who sat opposite.<br />
<br />
“His mum’s in hospital. Stroke,” Sheila said, and Carol felt like crying all over again.<br />
<br />
Wilmot wasn’t married. He didn’t have kids. He lived alone. His only family was his mother, and without her, he’d have nobody left. It niggled at her the rest of the day, sapping the last of her concentration so that she spilled her coffee and burned her tongue on her soup. She wanted to seethe, wanted to hate him, wanted to think up creative and revolting ways for him to meet his maker, but she couldn’t. She felt sorry for him.<br />
<br />
When the wretched day was over, she wanted to drown her sorrows. She wanted to hide in the pub with a bottle of red, but in the end, he’d denied her that, too. There, sitting at the bar by himself, was Wilmot. She sighed.<br />
<br />
“Hello, sir,” she said, and sat down beside him.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-66532162868201307632016-11-10T11:53:00.001-08:002016-11-10T11:53:48.152-08:00The End<i>Here's my <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/whimword?src=hash">#whimword</a> entry for this week. You might have guessed I'm feeling a little apocalyptic what with one thing and another. While you're here, mosey on over to my <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">Unbound page</a>, where you can pledge and make yourself feel a bit better about life by doing something positive. </i><br />
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James looked over at the rows and rows of burning buildings on the horizon. It was almost pretty, glowing red and amber against the starless sky. Small consolation. He drew nearer to their little campfire and turned to look at Samira. <br /><br />“You ready for this?” he asked. She smiled, sadly, but didn’t meet his eye.<br /><br />“No,” she whispered. “I don’t think anybody’s ever ready to die.” Samira pushed her hands through her tangled dark hair, leaving a streak of grime on her forehead. She stared into the fire and James could see tears glinting in her eyes. He sighed.<br /><br />“D’you… d’you think we did enough?” he murmured, more to himself than to her. She shook her head.<br /><br />“What would’ve been enough? We fought as hard as we could. We… we killed people, Jimmy. I don’t see what else we could’ve done. It’s over now. We might as well dull the pain a little.” She took a swig from the whiskey bottle, which was almost empty. “Hey. We got any pills left?” <br /><br />They’d swiped the liquor from one of the stores back in the city before the burning started and they’d been toting it around for days, hoping they wouldn’t need it. Its sole purpose was to allow them to be unconscious when it finally happened, and now it was coming. Unstoppable. Inescapable. They were maybe a dozen miles outside the city centre, but it wasn’t far enough. They hadn’t cleared the blast radius and they both knew it. Come daybreak, they’d be dead – and they were the lucky ones. The blast would destroy the last of them. Everyone else had already burned to death, or they were still burning. <br /><br />“Yeah, a couple, I think. But Sami… we gotta be close to OD’in’ by now. They’ll kill us.” Samira laughed and handed him the bottle.<br /><br />“With any luck,” she said, grimly. “You don’t wanna feel it, do you?” James didn’t say anything for a long moment, and turned to look back at the city again. <br /><br />“Man,” he said at last. “I didn’t think it’d be this fast. I mean, I thought… I don’t know, I guess I thought I’d at least live to see twenty-one. Didn’t you?” Samira shook her head again.<br /><br />“I never thought I’d get as far as I did, even before… well, you know,” she replied. “People like me, we don’t get to get old. We get as far as we can and we thank God for every day we make it through. But… I guess I didn’t think it’d end up like...” She broke off. Her shoulders were shaking and James realised she was crying. He scooted closer, and put an arm around her. <br /><br />“Hey,” he whispered. “At least we’ve got each other, right? We don’t have to be alone.” He dug into his pocket, handed her one of the last of the little white pills, and swallowed one himself. She lay down in the dirt.<br /><br />“Here’s to the end,” she whispered, and closed her eyes. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-29327526939690532382016-10-28T03:38:00.003-07:002016-10-28T03:39:29.372-07:00Eric<i>I haven't taken part in the <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/whimword?src=hash">#whimword</a> prompt for a while, so thought I'd jump in again with this one. It takes place in the same world as <a href="http://phaedracalliope.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/seed.html">Seed</a> and <a href="http://phaedracalliope.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/producers.html">Producers</a>, but not at the same time. As always, while you're here, take a look at my <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">Unbound page</a> and pledge to pre-order my debut novel. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
“What is it this time?” Doris asked, without looking up. She didn’t much care what the answer was. She kept her eyes firmly on her desk, and waited. <br />
<br />
“Labyrinthitis,” Bill said. “Inflammation of the inner ear. He claims he can’t stand up without feeling dizzy.” Doris sighed, and got up. <br />
<br />
“All right,” she said, wearily. “Let me have a look at him.” <br />
<br />
Eric was waiting for her in his quarters, eyes closed. He was supine on the top bunk, a pile of his laundry on the lower one. This was the third ailment he’d claimed to be suffering from in as many weeks, but he knew she’d come. He knew they were stuck with each other. It was just as he’d planned it. <br />
<br />
Doris weaved her way through the maze of interlinking corridors towards the staff quarters. Eric was a world-class shirker, but she couldn’t get rid of him. Company rules prohibited letting anyone go who was actively unwell, regardless of the symptoms. They weren’t concerned about unfair dismissal: no one would come after them for that. They simply couldn’t be seen to be the source of any kind of outbreak. They were already in a precarious position, and a burnout would ruin them. <br />
<br />
“If you can’t get up without feeling dizzy,” Doris said, “how did you get up there?” <br />
<br />
“Slept here. Woke up feeling like this,” Eric said. He kept his eyes shut, hands folded neatly on his stomach. Doris clenched and unclenched her fists. <br />
<br />
“Why do you do this?” she asked. <br />
<br />
“Do what?” Eric opened his eyes at last and swivelled his head ever so slightly in her direction. <br />
<br />
“This!” She gestured around the room, which, bar the unfolded laundry, was neat as a pin. “Pretend to be sick, lock yourself up in here! What do you get out of it?” Eric closed his eyes again. He’d barely been in the lab since he’d started a month earlier, and had instead focused solely on making Doris’s life miserable, as far as she could tell. <br />
<br />
“I’m not pretending,” he said. <br />
<br />
“No, of course not. This isn’t a ploy to get paid for doing nothing because you know I can’t stop you. That would be ridiculous,” Doris growled, jaw tightening. <br />
<br />
“If you don’t think I’m sick,” Eric said, “fire me. Nobody would blame you.” <br />
<br />
“Yes, they would! Knowing my luck, there’d be an outbreak the minute you set foot outside, and if they found out I’d let you go, you know who they’d blame, whether it was you that started it or not!” Doris shouted. Eric sat up slightly, and looked her in the eye for the first time. <br />
<br />
“So what?” he said. Doris stared at him. <br />
<br />
“So what? <i>So what</i>? This company is the last one left with the resources to fund this compound. We’re the only ones studying this damn disease. If they burn us out, there’s no cure, no treatment. That’s it. We’re done. We’re all done.” <br />
<br />
“Well, then,” Eric said, “looks like you’re stuck with me.” Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-69294715985559049892016-10-22T06:02:00.002-07:002016-10-22T06:02:18.528-07:00Thanksgiving<i>This one was rejected by Flash Fiction Online. Once again, I still like it, so here it is:</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />“What are we going to do?” I asked. Annie fixed me with that familiar look of indignation mixed with frustration, reserved just for me. It made me feel sort of special. Nobody could piss her off like I could. <br /><br />“That,” she said, “is possibly the stupidest question you’ve ever asked. And you’ve asked some doozies, believe me.” <br /><br />“It’s not a stupid question,” I muttered. I was sulking. I knew I was sulking and she knew I was sulking. Annie sighed and rolled her eyes. <br /><br />“For Christ’s sake, David, put your big boy pants on and help me, would you? We don’t have time for this.” She jumped down from the front seat of the jeep and slammed the door shut. “Well? What are you waiting for? Christmas?” It was something Mom used to say and it threw me for a second. I’d never noticed it before, but Annie was becoming more and more like her.<br /><br />Reluctantly, I got out of the driver’s seat and stood beside her, staring at the body. It was still warm: I could feel the heat radiating out of it through my clothes. It wasn’t a big animal – an adolescent, maybe. I pictured it fully-grown – majestic, lord of all it surveyed – and felt a rush of sickness. It looked so small after what I’d done to it, just lying there, the imprint of a jeep tyre on its lower flank. Felled by my crappy driving. <br /><br />“Help you do what, exactly?” I asked. The engine was still sputtering away behind us, sending plumes of greyish exhaust into the late fall air. Annie turned away from me. <br /><br />“We,” she said, getting down on her knees behind the animal, “are going to throw this stupid deer into that ditch, and then we’re going to carry on like nothing happened.”<br /><br />“Moose,” I said, quietly. <br /><br />“What?” she asked, pushing her shoulder against it. <br /><br />“It’s a moose,” I repeated. “Not a deer.”<br /><br />“Thanks for the biology lesson. Now would you get down here? We need to… roll… this thing… over… so we can… drag it… out… of the road.” Her voice came out stilted and breathless with the exertion. <br /><br />“Fine,” I said. “But shouldn’t we… call somebody?” I pressed my full weight into the animal’s flesh, feeling its moisture seeping through my jacket. <br /><br />“Like… who?” Annie asked. The moose flopped into the mud with a sad squelch, and she hopped to her feet, panting. <br /><br />“I don’t know. Animal control?” I wiped my hands on my pants and immediately regretted it, watching two big, brownish smears appear. Annie closed her eyes.<br /><br />“It’s dead, David. It’s not rabid,” she said. Then she started to laugh. Big, full-throated laughs rolled through her body, and she bent over, covering her face with her hands. I stared at her.<br /><br />“What’s so goddamn funny?” I asked. She shook her head, trying to catch her breath.<br /><br />“N-nothing,” she stuttered. “I just… I suddenly had a-a mental image of a big, c-crazy Bullwinkle running around in the woods.” She made a goofy face and a weird mooing sound, imitating a deranged cartoon moose. I tried not to smile. I didn’t want to laugh. But I could feel myself losing control, the muscles in my face stretching, and then I couldn’t stop it. It felt good – like a release. <br /><br />“Come on,” she said, taking a deep breath. “You take his front legs, I’ll take his back legs.” I nodded, and grabbed the slippery limbs as tightly as I could. <br /><br />“I-I’m sorry,” I said. Annie looked up at me from her end of the moose.<br /><br />“What for?” she asked. She looked startled.<br /><br />“You know. For doing stuff like this. For being a pain in your ass. For… being me.” I thought about the time I fell out of a second floor window when I tried pot for the first time, and the time I smashed Grandma’s urn when I was practising my golf swing in the living room, and the time I got fired from Walgreens for stealing cough syrup, and the time I got a DWI. I thought about all the times Annie had saved my ass, and I thought about all the resentment in her voice, every time she spoke to me. <br /><br />“Oh come on, David, quit feeling sorry for yourself,” she said. <br /><br />“I’m not. I mean it. I know I’m a screw-up. I know… I know you hate me.” Abruptly, Annie dropped the moose’s legs and stood up straight.<br /><br />“What the hell are you talking about? I don’t hate you! You’re my baby brother!” she exclaimed. <br /><br />“But you… I mean, you’re always so… ” I faltered. <br /><br />“Jesus, David! You think I <i>hate </i>you? This is just what we do! You screw up, I bail you out, then I get to bust on you for it. It’s our thing!” Shaking her head, she stooped and picked up the lifeless limbs again. “Now help me toss this moose carcass in the ditch, and then you can explain to Mom why we’re so late for Thanksgiving dinner.” I smiled.<br /><br />“Well… thanks, I guess,” I said, and she smiled back. <br /><br />In the end, we only got as far as sliding the body out of the car’s path. I remembered reading somewhere that an adult male moose weighed an average of eight hundred pounds, and suddenly counted my blessings I’d only hit a baby. When we let go, it sank down among the leaves, its nose tucked into its chest, almost like it was sleeping. I shook my head and let a silent prayer go. Poor little guy. He never saw it coming.<br /><br />“You sure there’s nothing wrong with the car?” I asked, starting the engine. <br /><br />“It’s a jeep, David. It’s fine,” Annie said, but her voice was softer, more reassuring than annoyed. She glanced in the rear view mirror as we set off. “I’ll be damned…” she breathed. <br /><br />“What?” I followed her line of sight. There it was, standing right in the middle of the road, just like nothing had happened – the moose. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-13485444507721460922016-10-15T07:21:00.001-07:002016-10-15T07:21:53.852-07:00The Fight<i>This was rejected by The Forge, but I still like it, so I thought I'd put it on here just for the sake of it. Enjoy!</i><br /><br />So we had this fight when we were kids, right, I remember it like it was yesterday, it wasn’t one of our usual fights, just playfights, just nothing, no, it was a proper fucking brawl, proper knock-down, drag-out, but not really a fight when you think about it because there was no way I could stop you, I was never any match, you were always going to get the best of me. I was twelve and you were sixteen, it was just after your birthday, and you were always much bigger than me anyway, and you had me on the ground, and you were holding my arms down with one hand and you were pulling out big hanks of my hair with the other, and fuck you for that, by the way, I looked like a fucking scarecrow for weeks, and I still have a patch that never grew back. <br /><br />I don’t know what set you off to this day, you just jumped on me, started punching me, no reason at all that I could see, but that didn’t matter, or maybe it did, I don’t know, maybe there was a reason, but anyway, you just kept screaming and crying, you stupid kid, you stupid kid, fight back, you stupid fucking kid, like you were possessed, like you were fucking crazy or something. I kept trying to ask you what the fuck was going on, what the fuck you were doing, stop, stop, stop, please fucking stop, but you couldn’t hear me or you didn’t want to, just kept hitting and hitting and yanking and yanking on my hair, and you didn’t stop until one of the other lads pulled you off, until I was all bloody and half-bald, and then you were just shaking and silent and you never said sorry, but I think you were.<br /><br />That was the last day I saw you, they took you away after that, care or something, uncontrollable temper or something, or maybe they stuck you in the young offenders, I never knew, they wouldn’t tell me where they took you, and no one ever talked about it after that, not Ma, not anyone, and as much as I hated you for what you did, I hated them more, they were the ones who really fucked everything up, they didn’t understand, it wasn’t supposed to be like that, we were supposed to stick together. Before that day, it was good, we had a laugh, we chased the lasses from the estate, and when it was nice, we went down the river and chucked stones, we never could get the hang of skipping them, and we nicked fags from Ma and magazines from the offie, never the really nasty stuff, just the Playboys, and you looked out for me, you protected me, took care of me, you were my brother and I needed you. <br /><br />I know it wasn’t the first time, there were other lads, sometimes small like me, sometimes much bigger than you and you’d come off the worst of it, and probably more that I didn’t know about, but I always knew it was just you standing up for yourself, just you being you, and you had mates, or at least respect anyway, and a gang to hang around with, and I knew you’d be ok, I knew we’d both get on all right in the end. You were supposed to go ahead of me, show me how to do it, tell me what it was like in the big wide world, tell me about girls and sex and stuff, teach me how to be a man, but after they took you, there was no one, no one to look after me, no one at all, and fuck you for that, too, because how the fuck was I going to stand up for myself without you teaching me how. <br /><br />I know what you’re thinking, Ma was still there, I still had her and she had me, but she had her own stuff to deal with, she had too much to do, she didn’t have time to worry about me, not really, just enough to make sure I didn’t do anything properly stupid, like kick someone’s head in, like something you might have done, and she couldn’t teach me anything anyway, what the fuck did she even know. It’s so stupid, I started missing Dad then, like, for the first time ever, and you know what’s really stupid about that, I never even met him, but you did, and you always told me he was a top bloke, just like this really great guy, but he was too cool for us, too cool to hang around and he’d gone off to fly fighter jets or be a kung fu master or something like that, and I even asked Ma about it, but she just laughed and said don’t be so daft, your dad, flying fighter jets, what are you like, and fuck you for that, too, fuck you for lying and fuck you for never owning up. <br /><br />You didn’t come back after she died, I don’t even know if they told you, or if you cared if they did, but you didn’t come to the funeral and that’s when I decided to try and find you, tell you what a fucking twat you were, I was bigger by then, I could have given you a taste of your own medicine, could have knocked some fucking sense into you, but I never did, I couldn’t, it was too late. They told me what happened, dressing gown cord around the neck, tied it to a railing and jumped over, just like that, no dressing it up, no sugar coating, and I should have realised, I should have seen it, I should have asked you, probably every day was a fight for you, probably you never really were happy, even when it was good, when you had me, and I am sorry for that at least.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-7977532900147652272016-10-15T06:24:00.003-07:002016-10-15T06:32:32.435-07:00Full review of Abernathy<i>Rose Drew, mentioned in <a href="https://medium.com/@clairepatelcampbell/a-new-testimonial-for-abernathy-9423f12d68af#.46zunwxnl">this post</a> on Medium, has now written a full review of the proof copy of Abernathy. I should stress, these views are totally her own, and I’m truly humbled by her kind words! <br /><br />As always, go to <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy</a> to pledge and pre-order the book.</i><br /><br />“In Abernathy, Claire Patel-Campbell’s debut novel, you’re struck, first, by the evocative words, dropping you into small-town America: which could be small-town England; to an extent, small-town anywhere. You feel the frost in your bones, your breath freezes, and you shiver with dread. Patel-Campbell has a sure hand with these places, and people, and you walk the same streets and drink the same bad coffee; feel as claustrophobic or as powerful (depending) as one can get in a tiny town with secrets.<br /><br />“This is Hitchcockian, a gradual building of violence and facts and innuendo, described in snatches of backstories and side-histories, as the whole town and the story of the lost frozen woman gathers speed and rushes down the mountain (only figuratively: this place is a flat as every mid-western town, ever), filling a valley village with shock, crashing danger and rubble. You’ll peep through curtains, suspicious of everyone else, as the story swerves and changes, rebuilds and resolves, only to plunge on.<br /><br />“I was drawn in from the first words: I have lived in or had relatives who lived in teensy towns like this, essentially founded and then run by the same family for 200 years. In its own way, even quietly wealthy Greenwich, Connecticut, with its murders and bad-seed clans, was like this in the 1970s. But please set aside some time when you pick this up book: you will struggle to tear yourself away. I found I simply could not put Abernathy down until the last page was turned over. And now of course, Gallagher, and Murphy, and Sally and Sarah, are sitting patiently by my elbow, urging me to revisit their stories in my thoughts. I will not be able to resist.”<br /><br />Rose Drew, October 2016<br /><br />Find out more about Rose and her work here: <a href="http://www.stairwellbooks.co.uk/">http://www.stairwellbooks.co.uk/</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-13025209991631786642016-10-01T05:00:00.003-07:002016-10-01T05:00:29.101-07:00Abernathy character interview, part III<i>Here's the third instalment, this time with Jimmy Murphy, the last person to see Sarah McIntyre alive. As always, visit<a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy"> my Unbound page,</a> watch the video, read the excerpt and pledge to pre-order.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Name</b>: James
(Jimmy) Murphy<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Age</b>: 29<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Occupation</b>: Labourer,
construction worker<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Place of birth</b>: The
back of my mom’s Camry, or so my dad said<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">How did you and Sally
meet?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Church, back when I used to go. I liked her right away. I
liked how she didn’t know how pretty she was when she smiled. She was so smart
and funny – way too good for me. I knew that, even if she didn’t. I kept waiting
for her to find somebody better, waiting for her to figure it out. I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wanted</i> her to figure it out. She deserved…more
than me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">How long have you
been married?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Almost five years. I asked her when we’d been dating for,
like, two months. I knew she’d say yes. I knew how much she wanted to love and
be loved. All I ever wanted was to make her happy. Guess that didn’t work out
so great. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Why not?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s like I said: she deserves more. I’m weak. I know I am –
always was. She should have somebody who can take care of her. Not somebody
like me. I tried to be better for her, but…I guess I just didn’t have it in me.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">If you could live
anywhere else in the world, where would it be?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Someplace warm and quiet, where I could be out of
everybody’s way and I wouldn’t have to live up to anybody’s expectations.
Someplace where there was nobody to disappoint. Someplace where I could
just…be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What’s the one thing
that makes you proudest?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Making Sally happy, at least for a little while. I know
she’s not happy now – hasn’t been for years, no matter how hard she tries to
pretend otherwise. But there was a time when she didn’t have to pretend, and
I’m glad of that. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When were you
happiest?</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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Honestly? I don’t know that I’ve ever really been happy. I don’t
think I ever did enough to earn it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What’s your biggest
regret?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That I let Sally down so badly. I wish I could tell her how
sorry I am, how much I always loved her, but it’s way too late for that now. It’s
too late to make any of it better. I just hope maybe she knows somehow. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What’s your greatest
fear?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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That I hurt her too much for her to ever get over it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sally, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-53196272334944382362016-09-30T03:15:00.003-07:002016-09-30T03:15:50.795-07:00Reflection<i>Latest #<a href="https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&vertical=default&q=%23whimword&src=tyah">whimword</a> offering. As always, check out my <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">Unbound page</a> while you're here!</i><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I avoid my reflection now. It’s amazing how hard it was to
break the habit. You don’t realise how much you look at yourself until
something makes you want to stop. At first, I forced myself to keep looking –
to stare for a full five minutes at a time, directly at my own face. To get
used to it. To accept it. Except it’s not really my face anymore. It’s a rough
approximation. They did what they could, but that’s the best I can ever hope
for. In the early days, when I was still in a fug of painkillers and tranquilisers,
I imagined I’d get one of those transplants. I could be a whole new me. I could
start over. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I don’t keep mirrors in my house anymore. I try not to look
in windows when I go outside, which is rarely. I keep the blinds drawn. I never
touch my own skin. That one was easier to master. I made the mistake of doing
it the first time they took the dressings off after the accident, and it upset
me so much, I never wanted to do it again. It was like cracked clay. Like I
wasn’t touching my own skin at all. I couldn’t even feel it. I would have cried
if I could. Now I know better. If I try hard enough, I don’t have to be
reminded. It doesn’t hurt anymore. If I stay away from my own face, I hardly
have to think about it at all. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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People stare. I know they do, even though I keep my gaze
down as much as I can. If I don’t look at them, I can pretend they’re not doing
it: mothers shielding their children’s eyes. Teenagers competing with each
other to see who can look the longest. Grown men recoiling. I don’t blame them
or resent them. They can’t help it. It’s human nature. If I saw someone like
me, I’d do the same, even now. I’d forget for second and gawk in nauseated
wonder, just like them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It’s why I stay indoors most of the time. There’s a nice
woman who comes to cut my hair. She knows not to bring a mirror and she doesn’t
make small talk. A guy comes to take care of the garden once a month or so. I
don’t even have to speak to him. There’s an agency. I pay them through their
website and they send him on over, no questions asked. I order my groceries
online, too. It’s ok, really. Life’s a lot easier for a shut-in nowadays. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My dreams are always the same. I’m surrounded by reflective
surfaces – mirrors, windows, glittering metal, even spoons – and in all of them,
I can see my own face staring out. My old face. Perfect. But then there’s that
familiar blinding light, and it all goes away. I wake up and inevitably, I
relive it all, and then I’m glad, at least, that I got rid of all the mirrors. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-10163245723255270682016-09-22T13:42:00.001-07:002016-09-22T13:42:06.675-07:00Abernathy character interview, part IIThis time, it's Paul Gallagher, one of the first people to find Sarah's body and one of the key protagonists. Enjoy, share, and of course, pledge <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">at my Unbound page</a> to pre-order the novel!<br />
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Name</b>: Paul
Gallagher<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Age</b>: 30<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Occupation</b>: Production
manager, machinery plant<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Place of birth</b>: This
very town, in my mom and dad’s bedroom<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">How long have you
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Since I graduated high school. I like the work. I’m good at
it, and like my old man always said, it’s an honest living. I feel like I
belong there. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What would you have
done instead?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know. I thought I had a shot at being a football
player when I was in high school, but I wasn’t good enough to get a scholarship.
Maybe I could have been a cop – I know I can scare the shit out of people when
I have to. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">If you could live
anywhere else in the world, where would it be?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think maybe I’d just be a wanderer, if I could. I’d just
roam the earth, see it all. I don’t think I could find any place else to belong
the way I do here.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What’s the one thing
that makes you proudest?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finding a place for myself in this world. Standing up tall
even when everybody around me wanted to beat me down. Surviving. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When were you
happiest?</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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The day I met Billy. I remember it like it was yesterday,
even though I wish I didn’t sometimes. I felt free. I felt alive. It’s hard,
knowing I can’t ever have that again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What’s your biggest
regret?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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That I couldn’t do more to help Billy. That he had to die
the way he did. That I didn’t see it coming. If it hadn’t happened, maybe I
could have been a better friend to Jimmy, too. Maybe we wouldn’t be where we
are now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What’s your greatest fear?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
That I don’t have a place in the world anymore – that all
that’s over now, because of…what happened. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-44069881601473968572016-09-18T07:23:00.003-07:002016-09-18T07:23:53.192-07:00Abernathy character interview, part II'm planning a series of character interviews with a selection of the main characters from <i>Abernathy</i> so that you can get to know them better (no spoilers, I promise). I'm starting with the big kahuna: Francis Abernathy himself. Have a read and then head on over to <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">my Unbound page</a> to pledge and pre-order.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Name</b>: Francis
Abernathy III<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Age</b>: 64<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Occupation</b>: Chief
of police; town leader<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Place of birth</b>:
Ashland, WI<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">How long have you
been town leader?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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As long as I’ve been chief of police, and that’s more than
thirty years now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What made you decide
to become a police officer?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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I’ve always wanted to help people. I wasn’t smart enough to
be a doctor, or devout enough to be a priest, so it seemed like the right call.
I love this town and I want to protect the people in it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What would you have
done instead?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I suppose I probably would have been a schoolteacher, like
my wife and my son. I could have taught gym – I was quite an athlete in my day.
I was never good enough to go professional, but I have could have taught the
kids at the high school a thing or two. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What’s the one thing
that makes you proudest?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My kids. They’ve all done so much with their lives. My
oldest boy is a high school principal, the middle one is an architect and my
daughter is a lawyer. They got their brains from their mother and I always
taught them to aim high. I’m glad they didn’t settle. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When were you
happiest?</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On my wedding day, and on all the days my kids were born. I
never felt more content than I did then. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What’s your biggest
regret?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That I settled. My father always drilled it into me that I
had a duty to this town and I’m proud that I’ve lived up to it. I’m glad I raised
my family here, too – it’s a fine thing knowing they’ll always be a part of the
history here, and it’ll be part of theirs. But I’ll always wonder if I could
have done more if I’d moved away. I wonder if it would have been better for
Lizzie, my wife, too. She’s always had more talent than she could use in this
town. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What’s your greatest
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<div class="MsoNormal">
That I’ll never be able to see justice done for Sarah
McIntyre. I know who killed her now, but there’s always a chance a jury won’t
convict. That girl deserves more. She deserves peace. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-16246972973611370532016-09-13T06:45:00.000-07:002016-09-13T06:45:09.861-07:00Sarah<i>This week's <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/whimword?f=tweets&vertical=default&src=hash">#whimword</a>, as chosen by yours truly!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>This time around, I've used two of the characters from <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">the novel</a> as the starting point. This is a brand-new bit of fiction, depicting a moment unseen in the actual narrative of the novel, early in the relationship between Sarah (yes, that Sarah) and her lover, Jacob. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>If you want to find out what happens to them both, you can always pledge to pre-order the book ;-)</i><br />
<i></i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you believe in angels?” she asked. Her voice sounded
small and far away, and he saw she’d opened the French doors onto the balcony.
She was leaning on the railing, the wind blowing her long, dark hair back over
her shoulders. Her slight hands grasped the polished steel like a gymnast
getting ready to begin a routine. Jacob looked at her, and half got out of his
chair, trying to get a look at her face. He narrowed his eyes, scrutinising
her. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Why?” he asked. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you think,” she said, turning her head just enough so
that he could see her profile, but he couldn’t read her expression, “if I jumped
off this balcony…an angel would catch me?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Sarah,” he said, standing up fully. He was trying to sound
stern, authoritative, but she was scaring him. She turned her head all the way,
and fixed him with those sad, terrible eyes of hers. Slowly, gingerly, he
started to move towards her the way he would towards a wounded animal,
terrified of spooking her, making her trip. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“I think they would,” she whispered. She turned away again
and began to put her weight, such as it was, onto her forearms. One ill-timed
change in the wind and he felt sure she’d blow away. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sarah, come on now. Stop-stop kidding around,” he
stammered. He was uncomfortably aware that his apartment was on the
twenty-third floor. Suddenly, unrestricted city vistas seemed like the worst
idea in the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Who’s kidding?” she said, taking a step up onto the little
ledge just behind the railing. “Let’s find out.” She leaned over and he felt
his heart threaten to burst out of his chest. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“I said stop, Sarah!” he shouted. “Come back inside. Please!”
She looked back at him again and smiled, taking another step up. He pitched
forward, half tripping over his own feet, and grabbed her around the waist, yanking
her backwards. She landed awkwardly on top of him on the reassuringly solid
concrete floor of the balcony, both of them breathing hard. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“S-see?” she gasped. “An angel caught me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-56670490734600341992016-09-07T09:20:00.004-07:002016-09-07T09:20:56.950-07:00Producers<i>This is a sort of sequel to <a href="http://phaedracalliope.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/seed.html">Seed</a>, which was my very first <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/whimword?src=hash">#whimword</a> entry. Enjoy! </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>As an aside, I'm also planning another exclusive, not-available-anywhere-else bit of flash fiction for supporters of the old <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">crowdfunding campaign</a>, so keep your eyes peeled!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They lived down there with him, the producers. There were
the engineers, who mostly fixed the transport and delivery systems these days;
the weavers, who made the clothes; the typists and the binders and the
printers, who made the state-approved books and pamphlets. And then there was
Solomon himself, who was in charge of the team that developed and synthesised
the fresh fruit and vegetables. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once, it had been a vast, underground hive of activity, a
buzzing, whirring network of constant production, serving three-dozen
settlements within a twenty-mile radius. But things had changed lately – had
got harder. Information took a long time to filter through to them, but from
what Solomon could gather, maybe a third of the settlements were still
standing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rumours began to surface about the state tightening its grip,
stepping up guard presence, keeping people subjugated and servile. It had
forced people to stay in the hot, cramped temporary dwellings that were
supposed to have been replaced with permanent housing a decade ago, and Solomon
had heard tell of widespread poverty and disease. He knew the buyers always
took what they wanted from the provisions meant for the wider population and he
wondered if they were distributing much at all anymore.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One of the binders told him people had begun to scatter –
had taken up their belongings in the middle of the night and fled towards the
far hills, before their homes crumbled around them. The stories had it that
there was still arable land beyond the hills, still flowing rivers and
beautiful green trees. Still hope. <o:p></o:p></div>
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You couldn’t just go, though. Even Solomon knew that. You
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exit. You had to wait for darkness, wait for the shift change at the perimeter
fences, hope you’d bribed the right person and bribed them enough. Then you
could try. There was no guarantee you’d make it. But you could try. Even the
guards, who lived fatter than anyone, had their limits. Even they could be
pushed too far. Solomon hoped his sister and her husband had got out. He hoped
they’d made it to the hills. He hoped they were free.<o:p></o:p></div>
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That hope sustained him. It kept him going when the state
diktats came down, which they did more and more frequently, telling them to
scale back, telling them not all their services were needed anymore. Prices
dropped. Buyers dwindled. But the producers remained. The bright and glorious
future they’d been promised, as captains of industry, as the saviours and the
nurturers of those that remained on the surface, had faded. They’d become
emblems of the waste and decay above them, rotting fruit and unsold clothes and
engine parts stacked high around them, no matter how much they cut back. But
still, they remained. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-33333818963829383902016-09-02T03:55:00.004-07:002016-09-02T03:55:59.034-07:00Window<br />
<i>This is a lot grimmer than I was expecting it to be! Must be the <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">murder mystery</a>...</i><br />
<i> </i><br />It's dark. Too dark. No light outside, no light in. I can't see anything, but I know I'm running out of time. No one outside to help me, no one in. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />He's getting closer. He hits the crumbling walls as he goes, with that awful left hand of his, looking for me, trying to scare me into giving myself away. He doesn't call out to me or say anything. Just...<br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />I can hear it more clearly with every passing second. I know he's only a few hundred feet away at most. I can't hide in here anymore. He knows I'm in here somewhere. It's too late to turn back. He's coming for me.<br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />My hands are shaking. I feel like I could throw up. I can barely think straight but I know what I have to do now. There's only one way out. I have to reach the window, high up on the far wall, before he finds me. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />The sun was still setting when I lost him in the woods, and then suddenly it was dark, all at once, inescapably. I wish I could see, but I don't dare turn on my flashlight. He'll only find me sooner. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />I've been in here long enough to know the dimensions of the room pretty well but I'll have to guess where the window is, guess where the jagged glass juts out, waiting to slice through my skin. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />It's now or never. I can still see his left hand in my mind's eye, ancient rusted metal fused with wrinkled grey flesh. I can see his low slung jaw, his empty eyes, his slack, ghoulish skin. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />It's about ten or fifteen paces across the room. I pray I don't run straight into the wall and knock myself out. I pray I get the right wall. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />I can see it. I'm going to make it. I'm almost there. I make a grab for the window frame. I'm free. But I slip. My hand closes around the broken window pane instead. I can feel the blood running down my arm. I want to scream, but I can't. I lunge forward, force myself through the opening, feel the ridges of glass scraping every inch of exposed flesh. I land, hard on the cold ground outside. I get to my feet, stagger forward, try to run. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. <br /><br /><br />Click. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-7015894106726536362016-08-24T10:37:00.000-07:002016-08-24T10:37:45.148-07:00New York, a summer agoWhen it's too hot<br />
(oppressively so; clingy, sticky, messy<br />
heat like this)<br />
I'm minded of New York, that<br />
summer when I ran away<br />
<br />
and the streets<br />
were so hot, so impossible, I thought<br />
I'd melt,<br />
like human ice cream,<br />
clean away into the tarmac.<br />
<br />
The stink of it, the crowd of it, the rush of steam<br />
from mirage-shimmering<br />
subway grates still<br />
stings my nostrils even<br />
now - brings back those days when<br />
I longed<br />
for the sky to burst and<br />
free the cloud-pent<br />
electricity -<br />
<br />
and reminds me of the fractious,<br />
temporary love I<br />
felt there, that boiled and blistered in my heart,<br />
with something like<br />
shame<br />
and joy in equal measure, <br />
<br />
like taking someone else's (better, sexier) life<br />
and trying it on, just to see how it fit,<br />
just because I could,<br />
then discarding it<br />
when I was done.<br />
<br />
Now I'm in another city (home, you<br />
could say) with<br />
another sea to hold me in, and<br />
the stink is different<br />
but the heat's the same,<br />
swelling veins on the surface of my hands, turning skin<br />
pink, the memory boils again.<br />
<br />
The sweat will settle, inescapable,<br />
just like then, and<br />
I'll slow cook on the train<br />
and think<br />
of that summer when I ran away.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-7580896453692251672016-07-21T06:26:00.000-07:002016-07-21T06:27:05.863-07:00The Spider<i>Here's this </i><i>week's</i><i> <a href="https://twitter.com/whimword">Whimword</a> entry. The <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">crowdfunding thing</a> is still going on, of course, but it's nice to take a break.</i> <br />
<br />
He paused for a moment on his way out when the spider caught his eye. It was only a little money spider, but there was something beautiful about it. He watched it, weaving this way and that through the bicycle's spokes, shooting tiny gossamer threads behind it. It was sort of mesmerising, the way it did that, building the web, one strand at a time. It made the bike come back to life for a second, healing it. He hadn't ridden it in years and the thing was so rusted, it was about to crumble into dust, but that spider...<br />
<br />
"Come on," the officer called from outside. "I ain't got all day." He looked up at the doorway, but he didn't move. He wasn't done yet. He couldn't see the officer from where he was sitting, and if he closed his eyes, he could pretend he wasn't there. He could pretend it was just another day.<br />
<br />
He thought about the day he bought the house. There were spiders then, too - hundreds of them, live and otherwise, cobwebs clinging to every surface, dust everywhere. No one had lived in it for a good twenty years and it was basically falling apart, but he loved it the minute he saw it. He could see the strong, steady bones of it, the life it could have again. It was a good house. Good things had happened there. He opened his eyes again and looked around the room. The bike was propped up against one wall, just the way it had been when Dotty was still there. He could still see her sometimes, at the very edges of his vision, laughing in the bedroom, watching him from the kitchen. But he could never turn his head fast enough to see her properly.<br />
<br />
She'd loved this house, too. It was supposed to be their home. It was supposed to be forever. They poured so much of themselves into it, making it perfect, making it theirs. Oh well, he thought. There were bad things, too, of course - the things that had brought him here, brought him to this point. There was pain and sadness, anger and bitterness. There were things he couldn't take back, things he couldn't forgive. It was hot outside, the air breathless and full of electricity the way it was before a storm. But he felt cold all of a sudden. A shiver ran through him and he was back in the present.<br />
<br />
"Buddy, come on," the officer yelled, his voice a little meaner. "It's time."<br />
<br />
As he got up, he saw an unwary insect had flown into the web, its wings all gummed up as it tried to wriggle free. The more it struggled, the more stuck it became. It was only a matter of time before the spider got to it. He felt a little prickle in his eye as he watched the wretched creature.<br />
<br />
"You and me," he said out loud. "We got a lot in common."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-19570417552336504882016-07-07T11:52:00.001-07:002016-07-07T11:52:08.559-07:00Dirigible<i>Here's another go at the <a href="https://twitter.com/whimword">Whimword</a> challenge, and this time, it's on time! I must say, I enjoy this. It's good to make sure I keep writing while I do <a href="http://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">the whole crowdfunding thing</a>. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wonder sometimes what the people on the Hindenburg airship
thought when the whole thing went up in flames. I think it must have been
something like what Andy was thinking towards the end of things. All happening
in slow motion, or the 1937 equivalent. No escaping now. We’re going to die and
it’s going to hurt more than we can bear and we’ll always be remembered as the
people who died here. We were the triers, the doers, the adventurers and look
what it got us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think the people on the ground, watching, must have been
thinking something like what we were thinking while we watched him destroy
himself. Rigid with horror. Powerless, but transfixed. Andy was an adventurer,
too, or he was before…before. It was what I loved most about him. He was exciting.
He climbed things. He jumped out of things. He crashed society parties. He sang,
all the time, out loud. He danced like a wild man. Women fell at his feet. He lived.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No one could say for sure what changed or why, but somewhere
along the way, the light went out in him. It didn’t happen all at once. It was
more like a candle, sputtering, burning down to the wick. Giving up. He stopped
living long before he died. He tried to brush it aside at first, tried to
pretend it was nothing. He’d be fine, he said. Just a little funk, he said, that’s
all. Happens to the best of us, he said, and then he laughed, and I believed
him. We all did, for a while. But you can’t relight a candle when there’s
nothing left to burn. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was something apt about the way he went out. It was like
he was trying to reignite himself. The difference between his ending and the
Hindenburg, I suppose, is that it wasn’t an accident, no matter what the police
report said. He stole his brother’s sports car, and crashed it, going a hundred
miles an hour, into the side of a townhouse. He took out himself, the car and
half the ground floor in one big ball of flames. It was almost impressive, if
you didn’t stop to think about it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s to you, Andy, I guess. I loved you more than you ever
knew. The trier. The doer. The adventurer. The doomed dirigible passenger. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-34795301430612165412016-07-04T13:58:00.001-07:002016-07-04T13:58:38.697-07:00My novelIt's time. I am now commencing banging on about this everywhere I can. I've already done it on my other blog. I've already done it on email and Facebook and Twitter. The
novel is written. The crowd-funding page is up. You can find it <a data-mce-href="https://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy" href="https://unbound.co.uk/books/abernathy">here</a>.<br />
<br data-mce-bogus="1" />
This
has been a long time in the making but we're not there yet, so if
anyone who reads this feels inclined to pledge, I'd be incredibly
grateful. Modern times being what they are, it's now vanishingly rare
for debut novelists to get big book deals straight out of the gate, so
I've decided to go a different way.<br />
<br data-mce-bogus="1" />
I was
sceptical at first, I admit, but I've seen the quality of the work that
comes out of Unbound and I am heartily impressed. I only hope people are
also impressed enough with me!<br />
<br data-mce-bogus="1" />
I must also add that I am already incredibly grateful to everyone who has helped so far. I'm truly humbled by your generosity!<br />
<br data-mce-bogus="1" />
By
the way, don't forget this is the first draft and will be edited, but
if you do pick up any little hiccups (like my mum noticed I'd said
"jumble sale", which is a UK thing, instead of "rummage sale", the US
equivalent) let me know and I'll make a note.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2583804301733049387.post-86125235889384134732016-06-10T08:20:00.001-07:002016-06-10T08:20:29.369-07:00Seed<i>The reason I've been so lax lately is that I've been finishing off my novel. Below is a bit of flash fiction, inspired by <a href="http://www.whimword.com/">Whimword</a>. It's much too late for the deadline but I enjoyed writing it, so I thought I'd share it anyway. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"It's a nice set up you got here," Bunger said. "Real nice." He pursed his lips thoughtfully, and walked around touching things he shouldn't have been touching. Solomon twitched, but he didn't say anything. He scurried up behind Bunger, whose oddly long legs had taken him clear across the hydroponic house already. Swinging his equally long arms, he knocked into a couple of seed trays along the way. They didn't fall, but Solomon felt his stomach lurch all the same. Those were the ones that hadn't sprouted yet, the ones that needed constant tending until the little green shoots poked up above the surface. Five years' work setting all this up, he thought. Five years' work.<br />
<br />
"How much you give me for the latest produce?" he asked. Bunger looked down at him. He seemed like a giant all of a sudden, eyes full of condescension and spite, a hundred miles above Solomon's head. He looked away, but he couldn't hide. He could feel Bunger's gaze burning the top of his head. Like sunshine on a hot day, though he barely remembered that. The only light he had was entirely synthetic and had been for the last five years. More, in fact. "Well?" he pressed, drawing himself up as tall as he could. Bunger narrowed his eyes.<br />
<br />
"Five hundred," he said. His voice sounded firm. Solomon blanched.<br />
<br />
"Five hundred?" he whispered. "That'll barely cover the cost of replacing the seeds." Bunger closed his eyes altogether.<br />
<br />
"Best and final," he said. Solomon felt his shoulders slump. Synthesising the seeds was an expensive process, but he didn't have a lot of choice. Buyers were fewer and fewer lately, and Bunger was the first one in four days.<br />
<br />
"Ok. Ok," he said. "But you bag it up and take it out yourself. No delivery." Bunger opened his eyes. He looked surprised, but he nodded.<br />
<br />
"Fine. You got yourself a deal. I'll be back when I need more."<br />
<br />
<br />
Solomon watched glumly as Bunger's guys bundled his beautiful tomatoes and plums and carrots and peas into the big plastic sacks that would take them to the settlement, a hundred metres above their heads, and two miles to the south. He sometimes wished he could go back there and live in the sunshine, such as it was, but people like Bunger ran things up there, and he couldn't bear that. People who thought they were entitled to power just because they were bigger and stronger. Here, at least, he had a little agency. Here, he was something like a success. He'd grown fruit bearing plum trees in a matter of weeks. He'd grown fat, red tomatoes, bigger and juicier than their non-synthetic ancestors ever were. He could eat whatever he didn't sell, and best of all, there were the flowers. Nobody else had flowers anymore.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04289776539371814943noreply@blogger.com0