Did you ever see two people kissing (an attempt at humour)

Did you ever see two people kissing
And think
What's she doing with him
Or he with her
Or she with her
Or he with him
You know what I mean
There's a mismatch somewhere
Something that doesn't
Quite add up
Did you ever see two people kissing
And think
God, they must have
amazing sex
Because there's no way
An eight
Nearly a nine
Would be dating a four
Maybe a three
Unless there's some kind of awesome
Carnal prowess involved
Did you ever see two people kissing
And think
I know I shouldn't stare
I know I shouldn't stare
Why can't I stop staring
Just stop staring
But you can't look away
Because his tongue in her braces
Is like a hideous accident
Involving a combine harvester
And someone's -
Did you ever see two people kissing
And think
If they can do it
Why can't I
I must be a five
At least
Or maybe a six
On a good day
When my hair is clean
And I'm not wearing
The trousers with the split
In the seam
Did you ever see two people kissing
And wonder
What you've been doing wrong
What incantation
They must have wrought
To close the gap
That gaping gulf
On that disparity
Of physical beauty
Did you ever see two people kissing
And think
If there's hope for them
There's hope for me